DIRECTOR WANTS TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME, OR SHE'LL LAY ME OFF?
ByI work with a Fortune 500 company, and the association is going by monetary predicament and they have been laying people off. My emanate is with my association Director. She's the chairman who hired me, gave me a big raise/bonus, helped me career advancement. Anyhow, I frequency speak to her, but I have a feeling she likes me since bland she continues to coquette with me. It proposed removing uncanny when she would buy/order me lunch and delivered to my desk.
Don't get me wrong! I'm 100% true masculine and suspicion of it, but I can not brew commercial operation with pleasure. Don't wish to be a sex slave. She's a really pleasing lady, in her late 20's, good body, altogether good personality, and prepared (Master's degree). But again, I usually don' t brew commercial operation with pleasure. Plus, she has been dating someone for 3 1/2 years, but tells me she would mangle up with him for me. (I told you bland at work is uncanny for me…)
I've been with the association for 6 months now, and each day I work it gets some-more strange. She comes to my apartment talk/flirts with me for a prolonged duration of time, invites me to her bureau 5-6 times a week for small talk/meetings (when the normal dialect assembly is scheduled once a month), and invites me to happy hours each time (What confuses me is which I'm the usually on cc'd on the e-mail). She tells me I am the fever in her life…..
Now which it's year end, she has to have her last preference and confirm which employees to lay off. Yesterday, she set up a assembly with me (like always) and told me, I possibly go on a date with her or I'd be one to get laid off… I was meditative of stating her, but with the total routine it's going to be a mess. Plus, CEO's, CFO's and people who have been higher than her wouldn't hold me since she is professiona/gorgeous and wouldn't have the possibility with her. They would think I'm lying to stay with the company.
I was meditative of seeking for an additional job, but I get paid 6 total here with a grade which doesn't associate to this field, and the pursuit marketplace is slow. I love my job, but I have to have a decision.
PLEASE HELP!
35 Comments
July 22nd, 2010 at 5:50 pm
Either way you won't have a job….so make this last as long as you can. And get laid.
July 25th, 2010 at 1:28 pm
You already answered this question: Never mix business with pleasure. Bottomline. Not matter what the details. Period.
July 26th, 2010 at 10:24 pm
tap that, get the hoe prego then leave and find another job
July 27th, 2010 at 11:42 pm
go out with her…duh. if you don't like her…deal with it you need a job.
July 28th, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Hmmm…sounds like she just wants to use you. I have a friend who was boy crazy. she told many guys she'd break up with her bf for them. when she did nothing happened. She got heartbroken by both guys! don't risk it man.
July 28th, 2010 at 10:49 pm
Tell her you want to date her, but you don't like threats
or
You love working for her a lot and don't want to lose you job if you guys don't work out.
August 1st, 2010 at 8:25 am
i say go on the date it couldn't hurt
August 2nd, 2010 at 4:27 am
you have 3 options here.
1) Do what she wants and deal with it.
2) Report her and take the chance
3) Start looking for another job
August 2nd, 2010 at 4:57 am
You answered your question.
Don't crap where you eat,not a good idea.Think of the outcome.
August 3rd, 2010 at 4:32 am
Well if she gets tired of you or bored, she'll fire you anyway.
August 3rd, 2010 at 4:36 am
Get you a small audio recorder or even a small (spy cam) and get her on record as saying that she won't lay you off if you date her. This is sexual harassment and it will not only keep you your job, but possibly even get you a promotion or raise. if all else fails get an attorney and sue for the sexual harassment. The higher ups in the company do not have to believe you, but others will. Report her to the EEOC if all else fails.But by all means get her on some sort of recording device saying these things for proof.Plus if you do go out with her and it does not work out for any reason she will fire you anyway. Good luck to you.
August 3rd, 2010 at 5:58 pm
i would try and stay cool until after layoffs are over for the most part and then go to dinner with her calling it only that and at dinner i would tell her that you are simply not interested and if she is going to continue to push any other type of relationship other than a professional one you will report her.
August 6th, 2010 at 5:13 am
Buddy, you have two choices here: (1) don't sleep with her and get laid off now, or (2) sleep with her and get laid off when it goes south… hmmh, which one is a better solution?
How old are you such that you will not be able to see which one is a better alternative?
August 6th, 2010 at 7:43 am
G on on A dater with her
WHy NOt?
Work and Pleasure SHOULD be mixed.
August 9th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
wow you are so lucky you get to keep your job and have sex in other words do it. i would tell you to do it even if she was an ugly old hag but since shes beatiful it makes it easy just make sure you have something to blackmail her with just incase after she gets what she wants she fires you.
August 12th, 2010 at 4:48 am
Sounds like she shouldn't be working in management. Ever wonder why there is corruption? She's an example. She should know better than you not to mix business with pleasure. If you really want to keep your job, you should go out with her. If you really want to keep your integrity, report her and deal with it. Or don't report her, but talk to her about it.
Nothing is ever easy
August 15th, 2010 at 4:00 am
Well… that's gotta be illegal, but in these turbulent times, can one date hurt?
August 16th, 2010 at 2:08 am
Wow, that's a really hard decision. If it were me(even though it would probably end up bad) I'd do it. ON the other hand, her man of 3.5 years might have a few choice words.
August 18th, 2010 at 5:47 am
that girl's into you, it has bad ideas written all over it but sometimes doing one crazy thing might lead you to your perfect moment. go for it.
p.s if your into her things would get themselves out.
August 21st, 2010 at 1:55 am
If you get another chance record the conversation next time.
August 22nd, 2010 at 10:42 pm
Don't give in to the blackmail, try to report her and see what happens.
August 25th, 2010 at 4:32 am
That's illegal and is sexual harrassment. Sue her.
August 27th, 2010 at 11:48 am
That is abuse of power and you should not have to take it. Unless you want a relationship with her that's for you to decide she should not threating your job over it. If you do decdied to go with it what makes you think she'll stop threating you there. You didnt want to mix business with pleasure yet she's trying to force you to make that choice. What if you found a great girl you really like and want to end it with your boss do you really think that will go over well. If you cant do the job thats one thing but her outright saying that is againist the law i would report her if i were you. You dont have to take the crap from her unless you want a relationship with her.
August 28th, 2010 at 12:14 am
As a 33 yr old female, i say just go out for dinner & drinks with her 1 time. if this is going to keep your paycheck coming!!! Enjoy yourself & make sure she doesn't "rape" you. Basically, you are pacifying her to keep your gig! After the new year, start looking for a new gig if you really have to. maybe when you two are out of the office, you can relax more around her & explain that you are a firm believer in in NOT mixing business with pleasure and that you only want to be involved with people that can respect that. If she puts you on the "list" - report her ass on the way out the door!!!!!
August 29th, 2010 at 10:11 am
Sexual Harassment is a serious federal offense, and in a Fortune 500 company that should never be the case. It shouldn't be the case anywhere, but even less so there.
The sad reality of your situation is just how you put it, the higher-ups may have difficulty believing the story. You will want to have this topic moved to the law side of Yahoo! Answers, since you are asking in the Dating section your question.
It all amounts to what you feel comfortable with. If you feel that there is no harm in going out with her, then that is your choice. It is not the correct choice in this situation as you have laid it out, but it is still your choice. Knowing that if you do go ahead and go with her, you have little to no resource for your case of harassment if you were to pursue that anytime in the future.
Your Human Resources department should be informed of your case whether you are having difficulties approaching her or her bosses with your side of the story or not. They will need to take the steps needed to stop this illegal behavior.
August 30th, 2010 at 9:36 am
You appear to have a lot of emails and such to support your claim, but I don't see anything about an ultimatum. Take whatever emails or documentation you have about the situation and immediately contact your HR department and tell them that she is making you uncomfortable. If it makes you uncomfortable then it is harassment.
September 1st, 2010 at 11:48 pm
Tough
um I honestly don't know
you don't want to compromised your good name by looking like you only have your job because you are attractive or a flirt, not because you are talented
the only good out I can think of is actually and seriously dating this woman
just screwing her is most definitely tacky, but if you could tell the story of this being how you met that would be cute and you would get to keep your job.
I'm just in highschool so what do I know, but I thought I would just give you my two cents
September 4th, 2010 at 12:47 pm
wELL IF YOU LOVE YOUR JOB SOOOOOO MUCH first ofF you have emails of her writing to you dont you?? you could show it to them people you were talking about and you could go on a date with her for a day and record her(or have someone record you guys) or record her saying that she wants to go out with you and show it to them because sooner or later one of you is going to get fired so you need to hurry and think fast!!!!!before they fire you!!GOOD LUCK
September 5th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
It this is an honest question, you should report the behavior to HR. It sounds to me more like a penthouse forum letter. Tell me what kind of fortune 500 company has a director that young, and making that kind of money. Go out with her and get all you can. She is your superior she will get in trouble not you.
September 5th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
The decision is ultimately up to you. I don't believe in mixing business with pleasure either. But they way things are looking right now if you have a job you should do everything in your power to keep it. Plus, it's just one date. You may like it who knows. However, she says that she just wants one date. But who knows what will be next if you give it to her. May make just have to report her, she is making you sell your body to her. I try to get her caught up some how. Save the e-mails of her inviting you to happy hour, with only you cc'd. Mainly all I can say is to pray about it. If you have a real relationship with God he will make things better for you. I'll be praying for you. Good Luck.
September 7th, 2010 at 1:35 pm
…I'm in total hysterical agreement with you completely here partner.
…..but surely a little platonic flirting and dating with her and no deep serious directors couch activities?….you can weather the secret storm she's created here..can't you?
keep records by video documentation and hidden microphone exposure to her predator type ways reasonably.
Surely she's using her position to her advantge obviously.
It's called sexual harrassment partner.
Most guys would emotionally not pull the trigger on this kind of a queen beach otherwise.
It's hard to prove sexual harrassment from a male point of view anyways….and very expensive to prosecute without evidence.
Get some……….agreed?
There's plenty of non-predatory women for you to choose from my good man.
It doesn't have to be the female boss that gets to pull all the strings otherwise…agreed?
Chop chop!!!
Go get her now….ya hear?…LOL!!!
September 9th, 2010 at 12:51 pm
SEXUAL HARRASSMENT!! IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT GENDER. PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT, DONT BE DECEITFUL. I DONT THINK SHE WOULD PLAY THOSE CARD WELL. BUT YOU MUST FILE A COMPLAINT AND BE DONE WITH HER. IM SURE THERES WITNESSES THAT WOULD TAKE YOUR SIDE IM SURE. COME ON….ITS AGAINST THE LAW AND THEY CANT TELL YOU WHETHER YOUR RIGHT OR WRONG. DONT LET THIS WOMAN PUT YOUR JOB AT RISK. DO THE RIGHT THING. WHETHER SHES PRETTY OR NOT, SHES WRONG. GET IT RECORDED, AND SHE WILL END UP LOSING HER JOB, AND GOOD LUCK TO HER TRYING TO FIND A JOB LIKE THAT AGAIN. THEY WILL FIND HER NOT BUSINESS LIKE….BUT IF YOU WANTA BANG HER AFTERWARDS..LOL GO AHEAD.
September 11th, 2010 at 10:46 am
Dude, tell that she is a very pretty lady and you would go out with her in a second but just tell her that your gay even if your not. Even if she spreads it around your office guess what….they are business people and you already don't want to mix with them. So just lie to her and tell her your gay. All her flirting will stop and you'll still have a job because she will be embarrassed
September 11th, 2010 at 6:12 pm
Absolutely, positively do not go out with her. You've done the right thing up until now. Sexual harrassment is wrong, no matter who does it. It doesn't matter if the higher-ups believe you or not. They are required by law to investigate claims of sexual harrassment. Write down the date, time, and circumstances of the incident. It would also be a good idea to make a list of all the times you can remember that she came onto you, and everything that led up to this. Check your company's sexual harassment policy and report it ASAP.
If you sleep with your director, you'll be surprised how quickly afterwards that you feel like scum. Plus she'll still be your supervisor, and she'll threaten you to get you to do anything she wants, and not just sexual. If you're still tempted, remember that you have no contract with this woman. There's nothing to stop her from sleeping with you and then firing you, anyway. At least if she fires you, you'll have your dignity.
September 12th, 2010 at 4:20 am
you sound like a spoiled little b****. grow a pair, step up to her and show her that your a man you p****.
what a little b**** crying on an internet forum WOW. you deserve to be laid off.